Life is never easy. WE humans might get a glimpse or an impulse of happiness here and there, but it always seems fleeting. When is the last time someone said to you that a certain outward experience was a "fresh breathe of air?" Where did this air come from? Why does it make us feel elated? What is that experience trying to communicate to us? Why is it so fleeting? What were we doing in that experience?
In short, the last few years have had no lack of hardships in my personal life. For weeks on end it felt like a constant struggle to keep moving forward. I have no idea how I did or how I keep doing, but the thought does cross my mind that maybe God is answering my prayer for stamina.
I'm sure each person has their laundry list of hardships over the last few years. Personally, a divorce, CV19, a handful of different addresses, a hazardously busy schedule, a stunted career, and a lack of personal responsibility were only the major things that made it on this short list. There were some great things as well. I met my wife, invited a new baby girl into the world, found a home that felt like home, and discovered some new talents. These "breaths of fresh air" filled my life with renewed energy. But yet I was still beating myself (my body, mind and soul) to death.
I was killing myself with alcohol. I had little regard for myself, the blessings in my life, and the source of those "breaths of fresh air." I was affectively dying, or rather, committing slow spiritual and physical suicide.
Well, God didn't like was I was doing so He interceded.
About 4 months ago God and I got into a wrestling match and guess who won? Thankfully, He did. He brought me to the ground and made me tap out. When I finally revived, beaten and bruised, I wept until my eyes were swollen red and my heart emptied of sorrow. I picked myself up, bowed my head in respect to the Victor, and decided I needed to do something about my situation. But what?
I figured I'd ask the Almighty One who had just whooped my ass in battle. I said, "Ok God, you obviously don't want me dead, dying, unhappy, chaotic, and trudging through the mud. I realized I am the problem. I've created this hell of earth for myself despite the continued blessings you've allowed to enter my life. I scoff at your blessings and mistreat them like a spoiled, self-centered brat. But here I am, at rock bottom, and I'm lost. What am I to do next?"
Do you know what happened next? I listened for His response. Then I started moving.
I gave up abusing alcohol. I started listening to His still small voice. He has me on a spiritual journey that for 4 months now has been nothing short of an amazing adventure of discovery. The world HE has created is nothing short of awesome in the actual meaning of the word: AWE INSPIRING.
I'm going to share my journey with you as we move into the future. Our days are numbered and I don't know how many I have left, but my prayer is that I will spark something in you to get you connected to our Eternal Creator, make a change in your life, and move forward with HIS direction.
We can't do it our way. It simply doesn't work. Trust me when I say, His way is better.
Let's start breathing fresh air all day, every day. Amen.